well we are in our third week at camp...the beauty about being here has been one thing...our friends Jude and Cheryl...it has been such a great experience here because of them and there two little girls...it is funny how things work out...we just ended up having our last year at camp be really enjoyable even though it is hard because we are leaving...it has been a real blast because of this family...
I appreciate there humor, truthfulness and friendship...
Camp will be hard to say goodbye too in a few weeks, but it will also be a huge chapter in our lives that we are able to close and start new...
There are already sad feelings around leaving but for me it will be more sad that we have made a great friendship with our neighbours and will miss them dearly...
so as i report on our experiences here there has been some exciting things happening with Aubrey...one she is able to be social with lots of people and two she now turns over as of two weeks ago...i think it is somewhere around June 30th or so...and she cut a tooth July 2nd...she is growing so fast and doing all new things...like reaching for me when i go to pick her up and smiling when she sees me and Jord...(that is something she has been doing for a while but hey why not mention it).
I have also thoroughly enjoyed being here because the pics that i have been able to take of the beautiful sunsets that we get here... cute kids that i love to shoot pics of...
Camp is good and alright and hard some days but i guess today this is a day that i appreciate what it has to offer
cheers
Jd
Dear Jord
I know this week has been crazy…to start off you are an amazing father and great at your job…the balance of the two can be hard I know…but I love you very much…
I would really love you to know that I really feel supported as the adjustment for me here has been hard…you are always patient and kind…and never putting yourself first…sometimes I do need a swift kick in the ass and other times I need your love and kindness…
I love you very much and think you make a great
Dad, husband and Boss…
Your little ladies
Jill and Aubrey
I would really love you to know that I really feel supported as the adjustment for me here has been hard…you are always patient and kind…and never putting yourself first…sometimes I do need a swift kick in the ass and other times I need your love and kindness…
I love you very much and think you make a great
Dad, husband and Boss…
Your little ladies
Jill and Aubrey
Birthday "bash" or "bust"
26, twenty six...
so far it is a bust...never have i ever really enjoyed my birthday being in June...no one to celebreate with at camp...not the place because everyone is going about there business...jord has something plannned this afternoon so I am looking forward to that...well i got the first call just in the middle of my birthday or bust rant...and it was someone to see how Jord's father day went...not even a happy birthday to you...weird...
In my house growing up birthdays were a big deal...we would wake up early in the morning and open presents and then the whole day we couldn't wait to get home to have that amazing birthday cake...
Not a lot of fun spending your birthday in meeting and with 40 people that don't know you very well...
I should say who cares but i guess each year i hope it gets better you know... that being here would be alright when i am far away from all the family and friends that i would like to spend my birthday with...but each year it just is a bust...presents or not i am just not where i would like to be...in the company of family...on my own couch...watering my garden...laughing and a dumb movie i rented that kinda thing!
signing off...kinda sounding a little depressed to be here
so far it is a bust...never have i ever really enjoyed my birthday being in June...no one to celebreate with at camp...not the place because everyone is going about there business...jord has something plannned this afternoon so I am looking forward to that...well i got the first call just in the middle of my birthday or bust rant...and it was someone to see how Jord's father day went...not even a happy birthday to you...weird...
In my house growing up birthdays were a big deal...we would wake up early in the morning and open presents and then the whole day we couldn't wait to get home to have that amazing birthday cake...
Not a lot of fun spending your birthday in meeting and with 40 people that don't know you very well...
I should say who cares but i guess each year i hope it gets better you know... that being here would be alright when i am far away from all the family and friends that i would like to spend my birthday with...but each year it just is a bust...presents or not i am just not where i would like to be...in the company of family...on my own couch...watering my garden...laughing and a dumb movie i rented that kinda thing!
signing off...kinda sounding a little depressed to be here
we have moved north
we have arrived...not really the best trip i have ever had but we made it and have been here three days...they feel like really long days because there is only so much i can do in a day but hey i guess it will get better...
For those of you who know jordan and I you know that it takes a lot of effort to actualely pack upand leave Hamilton because we really love it there...we love the neighbours the people the smells and the crazy things that happen there...
Living here is a bubble one that we are oh so ready to burst out of...It is a bitter sweat thing that we are leaving...sad, good, all kinds of emotions are attached to this change...
most of all though i will get my husband back...and Aubrey will get her father...most of the six weeks that we spend up here is going to be hard because we (me and Bre) will only get pockets of time to spend with Jord...distractions and people needing him will be the theme this summer...now i know that when you become a pastor it is crazy too...but etleast I will have my friends and family that i love close by.
I am really looking forward to taking more pictures and i have really loved this new expression i have found... i was never really artistic in the sense ( i could paint and draw) i was more artistic with my photography and interior design passions...now that i have found one of these to be very fullfilling i can't get enough...i already miss home because there i had a computer that i could do editing on and spend hours being creative with my photos...here i can't even up load them onto a computer...and i also love taking pics of people and there is only few people here? Another couple is living in the basement appartment which is so fantastic...they have two little girls which i can't wait to take a shoot of...that has been the hightlight of being here so far...etleast they are close by...
Anyhow, this is what we are up to know...I look forward to seeing the summer move quickly...but really i am always looking forward to what is next...
happy fathers day to my husband whom i love you are a great daddy...
peace out from the north
For those of you who know jordan and I you know that it takes a lot of effort to actualely pack upand leave Hamilton because we really love it there...we love the neighbours the people the smells and the crazy things that happen there...
Living here is a bubble one that we are oh so ready to burst out of...It is a bitter sweat thing that we are leaving...sad, good, all kinds of emotions are attached to this change...
most of all though i will get my husband back...and Aubrey will get her father...most of the six weeks that we spend up here is going to be hard because we (me and Bre) will only get pockets of time to spend with Jord...distractions and people needing him will be the theme this summer...now i know that when you become a pastor it is crazy too...but etleast I will have my friends and family that i love close by.
I am really looking forward to taking more pictures and i have really loved this new expression i have found... i was never really artistic in the sense ( i could paint and draw) i was more artistic with my photography and interior design passions...now that i have found one of these to be very fullfilling i can't get enough...i already miss home because there i had a computer that i could do editing on and spend hours being creative with my photos...here i can't even up load them onto a computer...and i also love taking pics of people and there is only few people here? Another couple is living in the basement appartment which is so fantastic...they have two little girls which i can't wait to take a shoot of...that has been the hightlight of being here so far...etleast they are close by...
Anyhow, this is what we are up to know...I look forward to seeing the summer move quickly...but really i am always looking forward to what is next...
happy fathers day to my husband whom i love you are a great daddy...
peace out from the north
the swing
this photo is just so adorable...first off she is way to small to be in that swing...but the way her hair is and her eyes looking up it just melts my heart...it is such a privledge to be a mom... i tell Aubrey all the time that i would love it if she could stay small...remember the times we had to cuddle and laugh together...but i think she will find her own way...her own voice...and i really can't wait to see who she will become.
all moms out there can appreciate how special your time is with your little one...because they are only this little for so long..
community
community is it good? or is it bad? and when do we really experience true community? I would suggest it is only when we allow our selves to be changed by our experiences of people around us...to be good LISTENERS AND HEARERS of what people are telling us. We should no longer try and isolate people by bad humor, and " i told you so's" we shouldn't allow sarcasim, making fun of people and just plan hostile behaviours part of our daily exsistance because it just doesn't allow for true community. What isolates people is gay jokes, fat jokes, your too femaine jokes, and the list goes on. I must admit i was really senstive to these things before...but over the last year I have really allowed them to start becoming a part of my vocab again...and ashamed i admit that this is not community building of Christ living at all. Infact i am just like everyone else who isolates people can't talk seriously and is afraid of comfronting the people that say and do these types of things instead what is suppose to be a safe community.
we should never refer to people as that fat person, the ugly guy...the women who smells and so on and so forth...it is just not right and i stand frustrated with myself that i have changed who i was to someone who has for sure not allowed people to feel loved and cared for by the words that i have spoken...so lets clean up and get our mouth in check and we will see what a difference we can make by being inlcusive, loving, and kind.
we should never refer to people as that fat person, the ugly guy...the women who smells and so on and so forth...it is just not right and i stand frustrated with myself that i have changed who i was to someone who has for sure not allowed people to feel loved and cared for by the words that i have spoken...so lets clean up and get our mouth in check and we will see what a difference we can make by being inlcusive, loving, and kind.
planted a garden last night
i did the unthinkable really? I planted a garden even though I thought that i wouldn't because we are selling our house. But hey what the hell it was so much fun really and i just love the relaxation of doing something i love.
I did another unthinkable as well...i went to watch Jordan play ultimate frisbee and i ended up subing in for a couple of points because the team was short on girls. I can't run at all...it was so discouraging thing. I used to always be good of even better at sports...one year I won athlete of the year....that is a real laughing matter now. I can barely do a fligh of stairs without dying. So i decided i need to get more active and i think it is a good goal... i know it takes a long time to get your body back to normal but i wasn't expecting it would take a year...and at the rate i am going it may take a year.
from a mother who can't quiet believe she isn't and athlete anymore!
I did another unthinkable as well...i went to watch Jordan play ultimate frisbee and i ended up subing in for a couple of points because the team was short on girls. I can't run at all...it was so discouraging thing. I used to always be good of even better at sports...one year I won athlete of the year....that is a real laughing matter now. I can barely do a fligh of stairs without dying. So i decided i need to get more active and i think it is a good goal... i know it takes a long time to get your body back to normal but i wasn't expecting it would take a year...and at the rate i am going it may take a year.
from a mother who can't quiet believe she isn't and athlete anymore!
moving???
So our house has been for sale for three weeks? And we haven't had one person through...i am really dying to know what the issue is for real....but i am pretty sure i have a good guess...the hood...yep that is right...we live in it and it is hard to get out of...really we don't want to leave so much as we would really like to get a house that suites community living better. I wish there was some great future in selling this house but i know that it will be hard and the right person needs to be interested. So if you can pray that we get some action that would be great.
or maybe even pray that it does go better than it has....it is hard keeping a house up for nothing...
cheers from the hood
or maybe even pray that it does go better than it has....it is hard keeping a house up for nothing...
cheers from the hood
ready to blow
i think it is one of those days...long, hot, and it feels like it drags on forever. I rarely get frustrated with being a mom but today...i had nothing fun going on...you know those days when all you do is entertain entertain entertain...and then you realize the only thing you have done all day is talk baby talk...Jord said "why don't you go out?" i said there is nothing to do!
so i am rambling about on my blog which really isn't helping very much. I feel kinda despressed today...and not really sure if that is what it is? But even when i had moments while the baby was sleeping today i just simply did nothing...boring! I thought i should really get the house cleaned up because we are trying to sell! But i had no energy to do that...and i kinda feel a little hopeless about it really. It seems strange that we had our house on the market for two weeks and haven't had even one call at all. i am not sure if that is normal even if your real estate agent is on vacation or not? I wonder if we won't be able to sell, that kinda worries me because I think it would be easier to have a change before we move into community. And hell i don't think we could manage here it just isn't the right set up...but to be honest i really don't want to clean and look after the house for months and months while we try and sell it. i would rather sell it so that it moves quickly!
Anyways that is my rant, the real hard part is that when i feel this way...i always get angry and frustrated and mad...instead of just maybe crying. the other hard part is the person that i take the frustration out on is usually Jord...so sorry ahead of time k!
the ready to blow mother
so i am rambling about on my blog which really isn't helping very much. I feel kinda despressed today...and not really sure if that is what it is? But even when i had moments while the baby was sleeping today i just simply did nothing...boring! I thought i should really get the house cleaned up because we are trying to sell! But i had no energy to do that...and i kinda feel a little hopeless about it really. It seems strange that we had our house on the market for two weeks and haven't had even one call at all. i am not sure if that is normal even if your real estate agent is on vacation or not? I wonder if we won't be able to sell, that kinda worries me because I think it would be easier to have a change before we move into community. And hell i don't think we could manage here it just isn't the right set up...but to be honest i really don't want to clean and look after the house for months and months while we try and sell it. i would rather sell it so that it moves quickly!
Anyways that is my rant, the real hard part is that when i feel this way...i always get angry and frustrated and mad...instead of just maybe crying. the other hard part is the person that i take the frustration out on is usually Jord...so sorry ahead of time k!
the ready to blow mother
walking in hamilton
Jordan and I went for a walk yesterday...and we ran into a fight breaking out at a local bar! this guy just slapped a man across the face and was ready to kick his face in and then it broke up...nothing like it really, the smell of hamilton in the air fighting happening in the local bar...really lovely. i think next time i go for a walk i might bring my camera...i mean there was great action that all of you could have enjoyed with me!!! ha ha ha...it was actually really disturbing and weird for around 7:30 at night. i had little aubrey on the front of me in a little carrier and Jord was walking the dog...i think the man that was attacked was the owner of the bar? but i am not 1oo%. Anyhow that was the excitment for us yesterday on James street.
cheers to another crazy day in the hammer
cheers to another crazy day in the hammer
Daddy
So cute i could kiss them right now...come on i can't believe this is my little baby i love her so much. I love that one day this dad and girl will be able to share stories and laughter together...that one day he will feel like he has to protect her from everything...and then realize that he can't...dad's and little girls are very special...i just love these two and i can't wait to see how there relationship grows.
love mommy
Frustration station
How do you work it out..being all things to all people. Sometimes i feel like screaming! There is the house, the dog, the man, the baby the the the the...if you know what i mean. There really is no time to balance being great in all areas...and i hate to admit it but i am really failing in the wife department. For all of those women out there who have been married had a kid (or two)...tell me how you stay in love and getting all the things you need from each other when there is a baby involved...i want to be sexy, attractive and maybe even nice to look at every once and a while...but i have nothing in me when my head hits the pillow at then end of the night...i think there must be a women out there that has created some secret serum...where she takes it in the morning and by the end of the day everyone around her is happy. Baby is feed, dog is walked and the husband feels fulfilled. If anyone knows where to find that potion, lotion, drink, drug...can you pass it along...cause this wife is failing misurably at balancing it all.
I look around and it just seems like there is very few people out there that want to consider themselves a failure...they or might i saw we all want to be precieved as having all things together, and really no one can but i really just need someone on par with me to tell me that it is okay...that i am normal for having no sex drive and very little time to make all things work for the good of everyone...no romance, no anything....so if you are one with me on the perfect thing... let your hair down and lets talk seriously. Let's not just joke about it anymore and laugh of the things that are most frustrating...lets actually does this reality thing, vulnerability thing you know!
I look around and it just seems like there is very few people out there that want to consider themselves a failure...they or might i saw we all want to be precieved as having all things together, and really no one can but i really just need someone on par with me to tell me that it is okay...that i am normal for having no sex drive and very little time to make all things work for the good of everyone...no romance, no anything....so if you are one with me on the perfect thing... let your hair down and lets talk seriously. Let's not just joke about it anymore and laugh of the things that are most frustrating...lets actually does this reality thing, vulnerability thing you know!
intelligence?
intelligence..some where inside my mother brain here i do have some sort of intelliegence...just sometimes is fails me! i am thinking up ideas of what i can do when my maternity leave is over because i will need to coin. I realize being self employed isn't the greatest stategy because i won't get any EI when i am pregnant with number two. so i have thought of nothing hence the missing intelligence things. Anyhow if anyone has any good suggestions that would be great!
world is on fire
i had placed this video from sarah on my blog...second video down on the right hand side...and i thought it was a fantastic because it demonstrates how much waste there is on entertainment...i think we forget sometimes how the entertianment world that you and me, and the whole world is apart of really makes more money and spends more money than anything else in the world...(well that may not be fully true because athletes make millions a year for most of the games they play).
So the question is when i compare my life and spending to that of these thousands and millions of pop icons and their spending habits what is the paralel.
So here is what i came up with
A night out (movie and dinner) $22.00 movie,. $40.00 dinner total of 62.00 plus gas
shopping for groceries $200.00 every two weeks
diapers 70.00 per month
mortgage 610.00 per month
at the end of the day, jordan and I are on a tight budget but we still get all the things we need and want, really! and we waste a hell of alot on entertainment. So food for thought i suppose, we all point the finger at all these pop icons and athletes and well i guess what i am getting at is to live simply is the fucken hardest thing to do for all of us...
when i go out for a hot meal and a movie i rarely think about how i could have spent that money in a better way, No. I often think and justify how much i really need that experience and deserve it...can you relate! Yes i am sure you can, i just need this, i need that...and well then we begin to realize we are just like the athletes and the job bon jovi's of this world...taking our wants and somehow justifying them as needs.
signed off as another sad spender in this consumeristic world
So the question is when i compare my life and spending to that of these thousands and millions of pop icons and their spending habits what is the paralel.
So here is what i came up with
A night out (movie and dinner) $22.00 movie,. $40.00 dinner total of 62.00 plus gas
shopping for groceries $200.00 every two weeks
diapers 70.00 per month
mortgage 610.00 per month
at the end of the day, jordan and I are on a tight budget but we still get all the things we need and want, really! and we waste a hell of alot on entertainment. So food for thought i suppose, we all point the finger at all these pop icons and athletes and well i guess what i am getting at is to live simply is the fucken hardest thing to do for all of us...
when i go out for a hot meal and a movie i rarely think about how i could have spent that money in a better way, No. I often think and justify how much i really need that experience and deserve it...can you relate! Yes i am sure you can, i just need this, i need that...and well then we begin to realize we are just like the athletes and the job bon jovi's of this world...taking our wants and somehow justifying them as needs.
signed off as another sad spender in this consumeristic world
things that make you go hmm!
i cried it is true...today i cried and was angry and well all the emotions that one can feel at once. I have the sign that says "for sale" that is my house is for sale. It really is hard and really weird and all together scary. I go the nerves today about living with other people...cause you see i like my space, i like my things, and well frankly i really like it all to myself!
Sharing is so hard, and i don't mean sharing crayons, i mean sharing the big things in life, like your life. Your vulnerable moments, your moments that you want no one to see. I like my privacy my special quiet times with Aubrey...and my very loud moments with my husband...
Today i question whether i am really up for this community thing...if i want my kids to never be in their own home, and bla bla bla.
And the other thing that made me angry today is seeing myself in an ever so overweight photo! Yuck...you know...!
Sharing is so hard, and i don't mean sharing crayons, i mean sharing the big things in life, like your life. Your vulnerable moments, your moments that you want no one to see. I like my privacy my special quiet times with Aubrey...and my very loud moments with my husband...
Today i question whether i am really up for this community thing...if i want my kids to never be in their own home, and bla bla bla.
And the other thing that made me angry today is seeing myself in an ever so overweight photo! Yuck...you know...!
laughter is the best gift
last night i have a fantastic night with the goodyear family and the vincent family...it was great times had by all but my favorite part of all is all the laughter it is good for the soul. As well as me and Margie's adventure saving kittens that i suppose mihgt have never needed saving after all.
I am heading tonight to a fundraising dinner for the place I used to work...really not exactly the best night of my life...but hopefully it will be fun...
cheers
I am heading tonight to a fundraising dinner for the place I used to work...really not exactly the best night of my life...but hopefully it will be fun...
cheers
lumps
Aubrey is really giggling now and it is so much fun to watch...i love it you can see her on You tube it is pretty cute.
being a mom is fantastic but i realize after going to a few doctors appointments that you body really goes through a lot. Since having Aubrey I have found out that i have low Iron, low B12. And today my doctor called me back and said i need to go see a gyno because i have a sist on my left side somewhere in you uterus. Kinda sucks...i feel like i need a break from my vagina being on show to the world , if you know what i mean. At any rate here i am wondering what the hell is going on with this body of mine.
i have had sist in the past in my left breast, i had it checked out and it was fine...but apparently i have more where that came from. New challenges every day i suppose.
To all those women out there who don't get annual physicals and don't do self breast examinations i highly recommend them! "You should try and stay healthy even if it means a little poking and proding"!
being a mom is fantastic but i realize after going to a few doctors appointments that you body really goes through a lot. Since having Aubrey I have found out that i have low Iron, low B12. And today my doctor called me back and said i need to go see a gyno because i have a sist on my left side somewhere in you uterus. Kinda sucks...i feel like i need a break from my vagina being on show to the world , if you know what i mean. At any rate here i am wondering what the hell is going on with this body of mine.
i have had sist in the past in my left breast, i had it checked out and it was fine...but apparently i have more where that came from. New challenges every day i suppose.
To all those women out there who don't get annual physicals and don't do self breast examinations i highly recommend them! "You should try and stay healthy even if it means a little poking and proding"!
my bed head
today i woke up with major bed head, one down fall to having short hair i suppose? nice to see that everyone is very concerned with the dogs...and the funny thing is Jord went over and met him yesterday said he was an alright guy...just maybe not that great with Dog's. OUch!
went to cultivate for part of the day yesterday and really enjoyed myself, apart from the hot wheather it was a great experience to chat about some of the relevant issues of churches and communities. One of the topics I went to was community living, it was a really interesting response. Most people hate the idea of sharing any kind of space, but they also appreciate the idea as well. after chatting about it more i realize that it could be a great thing it just is alot of effort...jord and I will have to see what it is like...my journal at that point might just turn into rants about community living.
baby is crying go to run
cheers
went to cultivate for part of the day yesterday and really enjoyed myself, apart from the hot wheather it was a great experience to chat about some of the relevant issues of churches and communities. One of the topics I went to was community living, it was a really interesting response. Most people hate the idea of sharing any kind of space, but they also appreciate the idea as well. after chatting about it more i realize that it could be a great thing it just is alot of effort...jord and I will have to see what it is like...my journal at that point might just turn into rants about community living.
baby is crying go to run
cheers
Three
Today i was letting my dog out or trying to get him to come in actually because the wheather is so great. When i saw a neighbour across the alley who has three puppies beat them and scream at them. My hair all over my body stood on end...so i called the SPCA and they said they can't do anything? It really tares me apart to see animals being treated like this. IT is awful. I really want to march over there and buy all the puppies that i can and bring them home. OR just take them up to the SPCA! sad how bad men make bad parents, bad dog raisers and there is nothing we can do about it.
So if anyone has any suggestion let me know...or even anyone you know who wants a puppy?
cause I might be inheriting three.
So if anyone has any suggestion let me know...or even anyone you know who wants a puppy?
cause I might be inheriting three.
back allies
well today i went to clean the backyard of all the things that kinda collect over the winter and to my dismay...two guys were yelling at each other for most of the time I was out there. oh the sound of fuck you's and bastard's all strung together reminds me that i have a back alley first off and secondly that it is spring. Allies filled with assholes and backyards that need to be cleaned some how the co-mingling of these two entities just seems one in the same in the hammer.
I do however love getting things all nice and ready for spring...it always looks so awful and ugly...and then comes the beauty that we have all been dying to see! Nice flowers and fresh looking grass...and oh well in the hammer you can't forget the smells! Today was one of the first days that I was able to get out and see my neighbours and unfortunately i told them that we were going to put our house up for sale? Sad i think it made her and yet i think that she life here for her...neighbours come and neighbours go! It really breaks my heart to leave and i will really struggle for some time about this. God, it is so nice to have my own place with my own garden and a house i can do with what i please.
signing off as the neighbour...who wishes she could stay a neighbour!
I do however love getting things all nice and ready for spring...it always looks so awful and ugly...and then comes the beauty that we have all been dying to see! Nice flowers and fresh looking grass...and oh well in the hammer you can't forget the smells! Today was one of the first days that I was able to get out and see my neighbours and unfortunately i told them that we were going to put our house up for sale? Sad i think it made her and yet i think that she life here for her...neighbours come and neighbours go! It really breaks my heart to leave and i will really struggle for some time about this. God, it is so nice to have my own place with my own garden and a house i can do with what i please.
signing off as the neighbour...who wishes she could stay a neighbour!
money money money
if it were true that money can grow on trees today would be the day that i would like to find that tree...we are going through some changes with a new house somewhere in the future...and a house to sell. With that said there are some added costs to buying and selling your house. one is you need to have money to make things nice a presentable so that you can get top dollar for your house!
But with all the money going out the window before the place is even on the market well lets say that is a little scary. So Jord went to get an egg mcmuffin today and the balance in the bank was zero! Ahhhhhhhh! Panic sets in and then i check the bank and sure enough cheques that were wrote a long time ago have been cashed and well etleast all the bills were paid!
this is my money rant....so if you find that tree could you let me know where it is rooted cause right now i need to find it!
cheers from one poor bastard to another
But with all the money going out the window before the place is even on the market well lets say that is a little scary. So Jord went to get an egg mcmuffin today and the balance in the bank was zero! Ahhhhhhhh! Panic sets in and then i check the bank and sure enough cheques that were wrote a long time ago have been cashed and well etleast all the bills were paid!
this is my money rant....so if you find that tree could you let me know where it is rooted cause right now i need to find it!
cheers from one poor bastard to another
the daddy review
so last night i went out to the fashion show leaving daddy to look after baby...as it turns out she was incrledibly fussy...but when I arrived back from the show she was sound asleep in his arms. (ironically he didn't tell me until we were in the car that she was sooo fussy)? well to say the least he did what he could but it seemed like it was just one of those nights i guess...
so today i had a doctor's appoinment that i had to go to so he looked after her again... and of course she was fussy...tired maybe and just a little off. And he said it was really hard and i could see it on his face once he told me. It really bothered him that he felt really angered by the situation. And he wanted to freak out he said...well maybe freak out isn't the right word...maybe more like he felt a little out of control with the emotions he was feeling. So we talked and he then thought i would never leave him home with her because he might hurt her? I was sure certain he would never hurt her?
It is funny how being a mom you just do it without thinking and you kinda just deal with the fussy days as they come...because at any moment your entire days plans can be gone in a whim. I think for guys it is just a little harder...they don't spend as much time with the child therefore the ways the child acts can be different from the last time they were alone with them. Right now Aubrey cries and fusses alot when she is sleepy. Kinda fitting the feeling i think...and that can be pretty persistant for an hour or so then she will give in and nap.
I wish there was some magic pill that made it easier for dads considering they only get so much time with the baby. But there is not and well it can be hard then to ever leave the baby home...not because you are worried about the baby but because you are worried about dad, getting too tired and feeling like a failure. I have had weeks and weeks and weeks of time to figure her out and meet her needs and he probably has a week maybe two of time spent with her alone...and i am being generous. So as the story goes we should never make the husband feel bad but only remind the of how much practice we have...that will hopefully put it all in perspective.
signing off as the mom who knows it's hard to mother when you are the dad
so today i had a doctor's appoinment that i had to go to so he looked after her again... and of course she was fussy...tired maybe and just a little off. And he said it was really hard and i could see it on his face once he told me. It really bothered him that he felt really angered by the situation. And he wanted to freak out he said...well maybe freak out isn't the right word...maybe more like he felt a little out of control with the emotions he was feeling. So we talked and he then thought i would never leave him home with her because he might hurt her? I was sure certain he would never hurt her?
It is funny how being a mom you just do it without thinking and you kinda just deal with the fussy days as they come...because at any moment your entire days plans can be gone in a whim. I think for guys it is just a little harder...they don't spend as much time with the child therefore the ways the child acts can be different from the last time they were alone with them. Right now Aubrey cries and fusses alot when she is sleepy. Kinda fitting the feeling i think...and that can be pretty persistant for an hour or so then she will give in and nap.
I wish there was some magic pill that made it easier for dads considering they only get so much time with the baby. But there is not and well it can be hard then to ever leave the baby home...not because you are worried about the baby but because you are worried about dad, getting too tired and feeling like a failure. I have had weeks and weeks and weeks of time to figure her out and meet her needs and he probably has a week maybe two of time spent with her alone...and i am being generous. So as the story goes we should never make the husband feel bad but only remind the of how much practice we have...that will hopefully put it all in perspective.
signing off as the mom who knows it's hard to mother when you are the dad
rainy wheather and a fashion show
tonight i am venturing out with two girlfriends leaving daddy to look after Aubrey! i am going to a fashion show and dinner. mostly interested in getting out and supporting my mom's house, all the procedes go to her house. So here i am just getting all geared up for a rare night out with the girls. I hope we have a good time.
new blog spot
so i am pissing off my husband today!!! I have an edge and as we speak he is kinda pissing me off too! the response that i have is well that's just life isn't it.
one thing i really hate is going to the mall...trying things on after having a baby is literal torchure, but at the same time it also can be nice to get something that fits your new body after having a kid...and i think it is safe to say that you really don't bounce back after nine weeks let alone if ever???
But i got a couple things i feel alright in and some that i tried on for hubby that once he saw made me realize maybe they should go back...at any rate that is life today.
We are also thinking or should i say are selling our house. we have lived here three years now and i think i feel a little sad to leave...i love moving don't get me wrong but the thought of it kinda scares me! On top of the fact that i will be living with other people....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
ya other people if you think you didn't hear it right the first time...we are going to dive head first into community living something i have done before but hated...so i guess i am going for a second round just for kicks.
signing off as the new person....fully expressed over the internet!
one thing i really hate is going to the mall...trying things on after having a baby is literal torchure, but at the same time it also can be nice to get something that fits your new body after having a kid...and i think it is safe to say that you really don't bounce back after nine weeks let alone if ever???
But i got a couple things i feel alright in and some that i tried on for hubby that once he saw made me realize maybe they should go back...at any rate that is life today.
We are also thinking or should i say are selling our house. we have lived here three years now and i think i feel a little sad to leave...i love moving don't get me wrong but the thought of it kinda scares me! On top of the fact that i will be living with other people....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
ya other people if you think you didn't hear it right the first time...we are going to dive head first into community living something i have done before but hated...so i guess i am going for a second round just for kicks.
signing off as the new person....fully expressed over the internet!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
