a new way of being

Today i began what you call the journal that took a life time to start. When i was hearing about and seeing what people did in these journals i was a little intrigued and then i found myself thinking, does everyone think that we want to read their inner most thoughts all the time?

Is this some new way of expressing who we are? And simply deciding it is better to hide behind a computer screen then actually know our friends, neighbours and family? Who am i kidding, the release i assume that is attached to blogging must be present cause everyone i know is doing this. It still makes me questions whether we are all hiding from ourselves and everyone else, but what the hell do i know? I am now in doing the very thing I thought i hated!

My thoughts as of present are always around the idea of knowledge and knowing things. I feel like I spend most my days and nights defining who i am by what i "know" or what knowledge i can gain. But i find myself realizing the more i seek knowledge the less i know who i am? sometimes, well actually all the time i feel i am in a room of people who want to know who they are and what role they play in life. They ask themselves "what makes me valuable?" and "what knowledge do i have, that can make me smart or seem like i understand something?" I want to tell all these people to come into the reality that we are all just seeking the thrill of being heard and the love of our own opinions being heard and repeated and valued!

ha...i make a mockery of myself here because i do this too. How the hell do you get out of this? How do you live and not worry about others? How do you love without conditions? and how do you write without the hopes that someone, anyone will hear your voice and agree?

a new way of being

even in the name i choose i hope someone will be impressed and intrigued by its true meaning? What the Hell?