I often question?

Sometimes i really am bombarded with the ideas of others. I am moved people's decisions and someone's comments always cause me to question. See here i am a person who states i have been a christian since i was a young girl. Yep that was me...nobody made me do it...it just kinda was a personal decision. Well know that i am 23 and yes i know that is not very old, i question a lot that people have to say in the Christian world. Not sure really if I want to buy everything that i hear...and i often defend those that are not your so called Christians. At any rate...here i am trying to understand how we can interpret the scriptures without a teacher? And when we have a teacher who is he/she? I sometimes think there is only a few that i trust, but i generally trust them because they see the world the way i do. What do i do with those teachers who don't. Well i want to toss what they say away. I don't even want to be in the same room. When i speak of Jesus it really bothers me that the only way certain people say you can know him is through the bible? i have a really hard time justifying the person of Christ and knowing him through words. Sometimes words that i make into my own unless someone is teaching me what they mean. At the risk of sounding silly, what the hell..you know?

I read the message written by NT Wright on the John 15 i am the vine you are the branches and i am enlightened that he presents the person of Jesus, the history of the Jewish people and then the understanding of the text and what it may mean. I liked what he had to say. My husband found it so don't ask me where? But someone i am under authority of tell me this long interpretation of this passage and it makes me want to vomit out...."who is the Christ you know?" cause i don't know a Christ who said you will know me through the scriptures mostly! I thought he was a Christ the showed us how to live and who he lived his life with...if we are to know a person should we not do as the person...and i am not just talking about living the fruits of the spirit i mean actually being like Jesus to the poor the lonely and the oppressed.

I think that is all...i need to find a teacher that i can learn from? anyone know of someone?
jill