obsorb this!

Of course i know that life is better understood when you can fully grasp why people make decisions that they do. I mean the more you understand where people come from and who they are and what makes them tick...you will understand them in the decisions that they make. I just am having the hardest time understanding how you give up on something like for instance marriage without giving it all you got.

I want to jump into the minds of two people that i love dearly and understand why they can't choose change over selfishnesss. I have been a sure advocate for being kinda self-seeking at times. But in this senario it just doesn't make sense. You see they have been married for some time now with two kids and they desperately need help in the area of knowing how to love each other and meet each others needs. But somewhere in this game "they might say" of marriage he isn't meeting her needs and she isn't meeting his. Far be it from me to have a clue what it will be like when i have been married 8 years and have two kids....will i forget who i am? Who do you become? But the last thing i would want it to give up.

I grew up refusing to be what my parents were in many respects failures at understanding who they were in the grand sceem of marriage. They didn't have the first clue!!! and well i promised myself that i would not go down that same path.

But i am watching as one of the marriages i loved and cared about and stood for...is coming to a very desperate spot...where the only thing that seems managable is to have one person leave. SHit that sucks. Watching it is even harder because i don't have any answers and certainly very little if any advice.

I will choose one thing though...to do anything and everything i can to support and help anyone who is in need of a place to live or stay and a place they can call home. That is all i can offer and really when i think back to what i bought the mary street house for i think it was for just that...and maybe just for this...But God damit it makes me angry that i can nothing else to offer than a bed and a voice that says welcome in...

I want to be that voice that gives people a reason to change and a reason to turn back to who they loved...i want to be the voice who says this is not acceptable...i want to be OUTSPOKEN ON MATTERS LIKE THESE... but i return to sanity where you find that no matter how much you say and how much you don't say they are one in the same...it will be TIME that will change things....I THINK?

A new day has begun

If you have been following my journal entries you will see the trend that i will write more once i am home in Hamilton. i really love being here...Today marks a great day for me...we are having a young kid come live with us for the year...i think it should be a great experience and i love having this house filled with people.

The summer at camp ended well but it was very hard season or our life. We love working in ministry and working for camp but we also love being in our home community...i wish the two were in the same place so that we wouldn't miss anything while we are gone for the summer. I have asked my husband to allow us to stay home for our vacation cause i really miss it that much...really funny eh? Everyone else in the world wants to go away...get out of the city but i just want to stay cause i have missed it sooo much...

Well time to depart... I am really looking forward to journaling again...
cheers